Trust-fallin' with Jesus

The time has come, friends. In 11 days, I’ll be walking with many of you across the stage with pomp and circumstance and sweaty hair. After I shake Dr. Robertson’s hand and receive my diploma, I know where I’m going but I don’t know what it’ll be like when I get there.

To those of you uncertain of what’s next, take heart. When deciding whether you should rank an internship in North Dakota higher than a placement in Boca Raton (do those even exist??), remember James 1:5. If you lack wisdom, simply ask God. Then, make a decision. Don’t allow fear and uncertainty to keep you frozen in place.

To all of my fellow micromanagers and perfectionists, I wish I could say that I’ve learned some secret to letting go. Sorry. I have learned that it’s okay to not have your life wrapped in shiny packaging with a bow on top. It’s okay to not know where you’re going after this, if you want to work in private practice, if you should stay here for residency or move back home, or if you should even stay in this field (<--Okay, so you might wanna figure out that last one). It’s even okay to change your mind. The point is, you do not have to manage your own life. Be responsible, yes, pursue opportunities, of course, but knowing every little detail? Not your job. Proverbs 16:9 states, “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” Our success in life is dictated by God’s gentleness (2 Samuel 22:36). Isn’t that comforting? I find reminding myself that God is in control of the direction of my life frees me up to actually experience life, rather than facing each fork in the road with the paralyzing fear that I could make a mistake and be burdened with regret. He wants you to live a life in abundance and fullness. Rest in knowing that having God on your side is not a consolation prize (I sometimes treat Him that way), but the ultimate gift.

Furthermore, don’t let others make you feel like you should have your life put together all of the time. Some of you know that I’ll be moving to England for the next three years. You may not know that every so often [like every day] someone asks me, “Aren’t you a little brave to move to a place you’ve never been before and you don’t know anyone?” And by “brave”, they really mean “irresponsible”. A part of me wants to shrivel up, hide in a corner, and whisper back, “I promise I’m being wise, responsible, and mature.” But I don’t have to. 1., Because I don’t need their approval. 2., Because God has given me His holy confidence. And 3., Because I have faith and hope.

The same goes for you too. Don’t let anyone else’s fears, insecurities, or jealousies cause you to second-guess the dream God has given to you. Don’t let our culture’s obsession with neat packages, put-togetherness, and concrete conclusions (“this is how the story ends”) make you feel less-than or ill-prepared. God loves order, but linear trajectories? Not hardly. Consider Abraham, the poor fellow God told to pack up his stuff and start walking to a land that He’ll show along the way (Genesis 12:1). If anyone understood the tension between callings, destinies, and concrete plans, it was Abraham. Did he shrink back? No. He went.

So, all that to say, release the death-grip around your life. Do a trust fall with Jesus. Shake off everything that entangles you (sin, fear, insecurity, etc) and go. And in your going, live a life that others will reflect and say, “the world was not worthy of you[1].”

Yours in Christ,

Feylyn Lewis

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[1] Hebrews 11:38

I will provide every good thing you need to do My will.

To my fellow exit exam victors,

I, like you, see the phrase “must pass in order to graduate” and fear grips my heart. My mind starts to wonder “what if” and “what about”, and I can’t get rid of the pesky thought of “what if I just coasted along all these years and then God’s favor just runs out and I fail and and and….”

Crazy, I know. Thankfully, God’s favor doesn’t runs out. His mercies? They never cease. I want to encourage you all today as you complete your down-to-the-wire studying that God knew this exam was coming. Before you were even born, He knew that this exam would need to take place before you could be released into the destiny that awaits you after graduation. Many of you have plans to work the missions field, go on to doctoral programs, or start your residency. Many of you don’t simply have plans to go on to those things, but feel called to do them. “Do not, therefore, fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward. For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away [and enjoy to the full] what is promised. {Hebrews 10:35-36}

Continue to expect to see God’s goodness, even for this exit exam. Joyce Meyers writes, “But when we expect good things, we open the door to God’s plans--see Lamentations 3:25”. Don’t shut the door with your lack of faith. Expect God to show up, and He will.

Lastly, remember that God has equipped you with everything you need to do His will. If you believe finishing this degree program is in His will, then you have EVERYTHING you need (the intelligence, the memory, the training) to pass this exit exam. With this in mind, go forth. Hold your head up high tomorrow, continue to speak life with your mouth, and rock this exam like nobody’s business. All of Heaven is rooting for you.

Yours in Christ,

Feylyn Lewis

 “You just have to not be afraid and go out there and just dominate…You have to go out there and be a beast. Because if you don’t, you’re not going to be on the top.” ~Gabby Douglas {Olympic gold medalist}

Hebrews 13:20-21

Now may the God of peace [Who is the Author and the Giver of peace], Who brought again from among the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, by the blood [that sealed, ratified] the everlasting agreement (covenant, testament),

Strengthen (complete, perfect) and make you what you ought to be and equip you with everything good that you may carry out His will; [while He Himself] works in you and accomplishes that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ (the Messiah); to Whom be the glory forever and ever (to the ages of the ages). Amen (so be it).

The Scarlet Letter

“Who will love me for me?

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me?

'Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means”

~”Love Me” by JJ Heller

Someone keyed my car, and I can’t stand it. Every time I get into my vehicle, I am forced to stare at the long, bumper-to-bumper silver scratch painfully out of place on the background of otherwise shiny red paint. What’s worse is that scratch has now made me the Scarlet Letter of car owners. You only have to hear “Ooh, who hates you?” or “What did you do to make someone that angry?” a few dozen times before you begin rue the day you parked your car at a friend’s house (In a nice neighborhood! On your way to a marathon for charity!). Yes, March 17, 2012 is a day that will forever live in infamy.

As I got the “look” (the one where my car and I both get looked up and down) from another stranger this week, it suddenly occurred to me that I wasn’t the only one in this world getting cast the judgmental eye. Call it a stretch if you want, but our clients with schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, mental retardation and the like get labeled with a Scarlet Letter far worse than my car and I ever do. Crazy. Weird. Abnormal. Don’t get me wrong, we’re in a profession in which we get paid $30-$100 per hour to give really scientific sounding names to peoples’ problems, aka clinical assessment and diagnosis. It’s what we do. It’s what we’re good at. And sometimes, weird behavior, is, well, weird. I consider it a privilege to be in such a profession in which our “labels” are often the first step in the direction towards mental restoration and healing.

So, labels aren’t my issue. Rather, if people make all-encompassing judgments about my life based upon my car’s scratch, what more do they think of those with the scratches of mental illness? We look at the scratch and forget the person underneath, the person who loves sushi, old Friends episodes, and their mother just like we do, but who also happens to have a psychotic disorder. Lest you think this blog is simply to rant about my potentially $1,000 paint job, let us consider our best example of love.  Jesus came to “bind up the broken-hearted…proclaim freedom for the captives…and to comfort those who mourn” (Isaiah 61). He came to call out to all of the Zacchaeus–es of the world, hiding in trees, to “come down, I’m dining with you tonight” (Luke 19). He came to love the ugliest one.

My charge to you, this Valentine’s Day, is the same. Love the “crazy” one, the “dirty” one, the “forgotten” one. Love their entire being.

Yours in Christ,

Feylyn Lewis

“I will love you for you

Not for what you have done or what you will become

I will love you for you

I will give you the love

The love that you never knew”

~”Love Me”, by JJ Heller

In the Glory of His Presence

“Every time I come into Your house, Every time I drink from Your cup, Every time I sit at Your table, I feel a little better” ~”Everytime” by Olivia Morgan

"In Him all the treasures of [divine] wisdom (comprehensive insight into the ways and purposes of God) and [all the riches of spiritual] knowledge and enlightenment are stored up and lie hidden." ~ Colossians 2:3 (Amp)

Like many of you, I am exhausted. Worn out. Stressed. Overworked. More than anything, ready to head home for Christmas vacation for some much needed rest and relaxation. Certainly in our caring profession, the last few weeks of the semester quite possibly mean that we are “all cared out”. I charge you first, to endure, and second, to not neglect your first love, Jesus.

On the most exhausting of Thursdays, I made my way on campus to UnChapel {1}. Leaving the service, I was a whole new woman. My heart was lifted, my spirit felt refreshed. I could sing a million more songs for Jesus! I could dance around the parking lot in glee! I could write my 20 page case conceptualization paper! Ok maybe that’s pushing it, but the point is, that hour with God was the sweetest part of my day. I implore you, be intentional about spending time with God this season. For you, that may mean turning off talk radio and listening to worship music during the commute to practicum. For others, it may mean reading a verse and saying a prayer before opening your laptop to (yet another) revision of your dissertation. Whatever "quality time" means to you, do it. Colossians 2:3 reminds us that God has a great number of treasures (wisdom, knowledge, etc) stored up only for us. Who among us couldn’t use a bit more wisdom in their daily life? Spending time with God, in His sweet, sweet presence, is like getting your speedometer recalibrated. Where our heart deviates from the proper course, He makes right.

I can’t promise you many things in this life. One thing I can promise, is that if you give God your time, He’ll multiply it. If you give Him your worship, He’ll give you His comforting presence. If you spend time in His word, He’ll bestow knowledge upon you. It’s a 2 for 1 deal better than anything you found on Black Friday. I promise.

Yours In Christ,

Feylyn Lewis

“My lover spoke and said to me, Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.”~Song of Songs 2: 10

“…For your love is more delightful than wine”~Song of Songs 1:2

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{1} UnChapel, for those unacquainted with one of the most Holy Spirit-charged gatherings on campus, is the Thursday night service featuring worship and teaching—for students, by students. If you haven’t been there before, you’re missing out. If you do come, keep comin’. You can also watch it streaming live through your MyRegent Portal. 8pm. Every Thursday. 

Kim Walker's "I Love Your Presence"

The Tale of the $12.93 Pants, aka Knowing God’s Character

Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?~ Matthew 7:9-10

 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. ~James 1:17

I figure that if I buy fall weather appropriate clothes, Mother Nature will follow suit. Thus, I’ve been on a search for burgundy corduroy skinny pants since August. Not bright red, not rosy mauve. Burgundy. I found the perfect pair online from Ralph Lauren. I’ll just come out and say that no amount of reasoning/desire/insanity would ever allow me to buy RL’s pants on a grad student budget. So, I’ve scampered along, pining away for pants that seemed to lack a future in my closet. Eventually, I decided I could settle for cheaper priced knockoffs if I could find them. Soon after that came the Eeyore-ian self-talk of a search proven futile: I don’t have to have those pants. I’ll be alright without them. Fast forward to my recent trip home. I wandered into my local RL store, looking for nothing in particular, when I spotted them. My pants. MY PANTS!! 75% off, only one pair in my size left. Plus, the cashier took notice of my military ID card and offered an additional 15% off. It’s enough to make a grown man cry. Who are we kidding, I did cry.

Here’s the thing, I knew this just wasn’t about snagging a good deal on a piece of clothing. The Holy Spirit clued me into a little secret: these pants were a gift from my Dad. Only my Heavenly Father knew how much I wanted them. Only He knew how my carnal mind had decided that those pants were “too good and too costly” for myself. This is what I love about our Father…just when we decide we’re not good or deserving enough for something…. How much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! {Matthew 7:11} He loves to shower us with gifts from above, just because we’re His kingdom daughters and sons. And sometimes, as in my case, we don’t even have to ask. God is always seeking to do good towards us—that’s just His character! “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.” {2 Chronicles 16:9}. Friends, God is literally searching for ways to bless us, that’s how utterly kind and loving His thoughts are towards us. Sometimes that blessing may show up in the form of $12.93 pants and other times, it’s a job promotion, healing from illness, or a passing grade in Skills class. God is always making plans to enrich our lives with the unexpected good gift.

So, if in the hallways of the CRB you catch me wearing my corduroy pants, smile knowingly, because we all know these pants came from my Dad.

Yours in Christ,

Feylyn Lewis

“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.”~Luke 15: 31

You fill us with Your love, overwhelm us with Your love

Take us from the ashes, seat us with princes.

It’s what You do, it’s just what You do.

~”Never Gonna Leave Me Dry” by Cory Asbury, Bryan McCleery, Joy Salvatore